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Motivations



love me, allycia

I'm Allycia ♥

热衷于撰写生活的每一秒是我的侥幸,感谢不尽; 誊录每一隅的生活姿态是我的天赋,在下恪尽职守。 那是我,那是一種生活態度.

add me.




twit with me.



sweet escapes.

Anniechew-sis
ChaCha-sis
Amanda-mrsben
Banister
CarmenJiahuei
CwenGan
JacquelynneLim
JaneJishu
Jeremybboyrice
Kary
Kennywee
Lexyring
Pohyee
Sueyin
Wenyen
Yasmine
佩思

never fade away.

January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011

thank you.

Layout: Karyisafool
!♥feelthatlov-e.
Hosts: x o x

25 September 2009

完美离别




当我叙说完后,我好想知道你身体会不会堕入回忆隧道里,然后你的眸子里突然反射到我嘴角上扬的模样,你倒吸一口气,你最爱我的副乳的特别味道刺激了你的闻嗅觉。你还没回神,接着是你的舌尖上的味蕾,舔到我们那一刻的甘甜,有点涩.......

离别可以很奢华,可以很凄美,也可以很完美。当然,主角由自己来当,所以离别的结局一切由自己来主宰。

你想要搞一种让对方有种 “我人缘好好” 的离别也好,站在朋友群众围绕着离别者,欢乐的笑声中迎别,好聚好散,下世续缘也罢。其实与其说在潇洒中送别,不如说只是不想把自己推入思念的火坑里。

你想要在离别的时候抱着爱人默默抽噎也好,眼泪中包含着难分难舍滴在离别者的心坎上是一种折磨。他不止要承担对对方的思念的负担,也要吸着勇气的空气微笑孤独作战,好让与他曾经并肩作战的另一半在天空的另一端安心等待,那是他当一个离别者的责任。

离别当然也可以很完美,可是结局永远只夹在假设之间。或许永远不再见,也或许可再见。
那天,你在忙碌中突然握起我的手,我回了神,发呆就此停止在那一秒,我转头疑惑地看着你,然后你大喊告诉我你爱我。我连忙转回我的头,自己偷笑了一会儿,我知道你没瞥到,因为你的右手紧捉着驾驶盘,并没有多余的注意力投放在我身上。

那是我平时会对你做的事,偶尔心情好好,偶尔感觉世界末日的时候,就会很想大大声告诉你我很爱你,我很喜欢你,因为我怕来不及,我怕后悔,遗憾残留在我们的故事里。

我用 “嗯’’ 一个字来回答你,就像你平时一样回答我。你笑着骂我敷衍,就像我平时瞪着你歪着嘴说你敷衍。现在的我好像才一点点地明瞭,我们所体会的会不会一样? 当时的我,并不想给你任何的反应,原因也只不过是我想自私地把甜蜜紧紧感受着,然后把它锁在记忆枷锁里直到现在再次贪心地拿出来慢慢品尝,仔细地把当时的温度一行一字地写出来。当时的我,很享受爱情的美妙,很美妙。

谁也不知道那是我们的离别,这种简单送我回家的离别可是每天在我生活上上演了无数遍,我们或许可再见面,或许永远也没法子再见面。可是,我们自己完美化了我们的离别,并没有任何不舍留在我们心中,也没有虚假的欢送,也没有沸腾的热泪淌在谁的脸上,惟有,是我们微笑遗留下的幸福温度围绕着他回家。

那种离别,是最完美的。: )


你....

记得吗?







24 September 2009

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And I do ordered a pair of CTS-105 for myself too* Haha. X)








23 September 2009

Fashion In Da House




Frequently peep these fashion spots in Malaysia!
This has inspired me thinking of the autumn season is around the corner.
The Berets!!
Do you fancy it?





22 September 2009

Tuesday Buaii ! *

There are a lot of plans before Tuesday and yes, i have done it, oppositely I dont think I have made it entirely. Everything are out of my expectation, I thought they will be go on by perfectly.

This morning, I went to Pavillion and watched out for the The Cotton On and Forever21 since like everyone has commented about their clothes are affordable and nice : ) I just cant bare of those people's coax.

I have predicted that I ll be pick up myself nicely this morning but I have failed. Initially, I wanted to have big curl for my hair but I could not make it although I've watched some videos from Youtube. =( I've tried it last night but I really really cannot make it, how sadddddddd I was. So I just tied all my hair and wait for the next morning for my lovely rebonding X) Haha, Rebonding Again!

Msn with Miss.YinYing just now and fucking unfortunately she told me that she saw me at Pavillion and that affair wasn't my anticipation. I don't want anyone schoolmates saw me at Pavillion with my Dear or what because I've worn soooooooooo UGLY!

*T-shirt plus short pant plus sandals*

Maybe I do willing to wear such a casual look to Midvalley and letting anyone to meet me but I do not hope this incident happens on me when i am wearing like that in Pavillion. Its a embarrassment! Luckily, I didn't saw her. XP So I can act like nobody met me before.

After that, headed to Bukit Jalil Club with my cousin for our slimming plan. And the place was utterly made us got sicked of it, the fees is RM18 per visitors but we even cant use the toilet to take bath as well as we cant have a fucking towel. WTH*
So,are we paying the RM18 for the water tank that filled with the chlorine instead of having all swimming facilities? -.-

No matter how, we were still using their SAUNA! BLEH*

And we do plan to cut off all the towels and throw them into toilet bowls if we can rent them or pee in the swimming pool X) .Mad people*

Besides,those malay stuffs are really sucks, they don't even how to communicate with clients.
= = I know im racist but I think everyone is used to their perlahan-perlahan punya service.
Ish.

Till 9 in the night something, went out with Dajie and cousin to have our supper at Little Tree. The Ham Spaghetti with carbonara sauce is delicious, YummyYummy* : )

No photoshots today, forgive me readers ; )



#I know my drawing skill is worse, but i am trying hard to draw a present that given by Mr.Dear.
: ) Haha, I drew like a football skirt. *^^* isn't sweet?





21 September 2009

Holiday is extremely TADA!

Let's flash back some memories that we gained in the Year 2009.

I was surprised when I saw this photo presents in Amy's friendster but I don't even remember I was in this snapshot before. And the funniest thing is I did not even post about Bui's birthday in my blog. Maybe it was a totally failure of her birthday celebration and yet I've forgotten to blog about that day. Poor baby : X




21st of September 2009, We went to Times Square again. And I was utterly protested against the proposal of going to Times Square for watching movies instead of going to Midvalley or The Gardens which are nearer to our housing area. In my first thought, I knew that was Amy's suggestion cause the rest of us do not stray over there. = ='' I confess that I don't really like that place because I found that that place is sucks.

Actually I wanna argue with Amy about the venue because I wanted to go Pavillion cause ErJie told me that The Cotton Boutique is fully of cheap cheap and nice clothes, X) Thats my Desires. I think this time I really need to grab some suitable clothes for myself.

Before we went to TS, I had several calls with Amy. In one da phone with Amy, She sounded like everyone is desperate for going Time Square, so I don't think I can determined my stand. In fact, she is the only one who wanted to go the lameshits TS. *Anguish fills my Heart* -.-

Both of them watched G.I.Joe before I came because I was locating at my Kampung that time. After that, we went for Final Destination. = = This movie wasted my time and my money, i rate it 0/10 although I watched it in 3D. I don't think thats scary or horror in the movie, maybe im not afraid of those bloody scenes. XP

Whateva, I am just not contented with that movie.

Then, we headed to Papa John's Pizza. Their foods quite delicious. : ) But im still leaving the pizza's crusts because I don't eat crusts. X) After that, Baskin Robbins was our second choice of dessert.




Candid SnapShots Time!






Exclusively Curl my hair today. But most of them commented the hair was not nice and maybe not suitable. : ( Anyway, thats just a small curl on my tip of my hair and I just sicked of having a same hairstyle on my top, I need some difference sometimes to look different. : )


Kay la, I know I did not curl my hair nicely but I am not professional okayyy. : P
This was my first time to curl my hair, so pls do forgive me, I've only watched XiaXue's GuideToLife Video that teaching girls for curling hair onceXD!

Tomorrow will be big curl for my hair : DD, Stay Tune Stay Tune.


Bye Bye!




18 September 2009

The L World!

有時候好東西真的要分享給大家, 不過眾所皆知我算是個XiaXuede忠實讀者, 只要是她新的videoclips我大部分都看過, 而最新的VideoClip是從她的部落格看到的, SIBEHH HOT! 原來Lesbians kiss 是那麼刺激的 X) 不錯不錯! Post 上來給大家大吃冰淇淋*

小貼心 : 記得用衛生紙抹干你紅彤彤的鼻血哦!








全是因為我

若我形容自己是個笨蛋, 我胃里的胃潰瘍毫不猶豫地從我的鼻孔一滴一滴地流出來,豪邁得很.若我描述自己是個白痴,我胃里的蛔蟲倒是從我屁股洞溜出來然後告訴我這是再適合不過的形容詞了.說事實,我不否認自己的智商並沒有高到哪裡去,但是我絕對絕對絕對絕對不貶抑自己為笨蛋周佳菊,這聽起來是超級無敵噁心至極點,這絕對因為是‘‘笨蛋’’這不管是名詞還是形容詞都好都已被某些所謂的非主流年輕少男少女氾濫慣用,而他們大多數用以表現給大家他們是非常天真可愛無知,對這世界的無限憧憬,更厲害的是,不用他們強調,卻林林總總的照片早已呈現給大家他們對愛情的堅貞,對愛情的渴望.這是現今時代所所謂‘‘笨蛋’’,不妨我直言,我覺得這兩個字在這年代顯得很噁心而且不著切實際,但可能對某些人來說那是一種褒義詞,我不知道.

若是‘‘白痴’’這兩個字來形容人,就顯得那個人真的是笨得無藥可救,笨得很極端,甚至是可以笨得讓別人厭惡,讓人失去了耐心.而我,就是沒有笨得讓別人有種天真可愛無知,對這世界的無限憧憬,對愛情堅貞,對愛情渴望的感覺,相反的,倒是讓別人有種一巴想蓋下去的衝動,也想讓我去撞牆的想法,這種想法就連我自己也舉手贊同.

說真的,我真的不敢也不曉得如何用‘‘笨蛋’’來形容自己,唯獨‘‘白痴’’再也最適合不過我今天的角色了.這種人物,這種佈景,這一種劇情是我從來沒有想過竟會發生在我身上.可是,這種體會,這種感覺就是讓我在前幾次翻船後又再次降臨到我心上,那種感覺是無法形容的.

我可以在辦某些事上辦得有聲有色,當別人開始對我的信任開始產生的時候,也就是我的信心開始一磚一塊地建立起來.是很不鞏固的,是容易讓人摧毀的.直到遇到某人名叫絆腳石的時候,我的信心開始墮落,接著是我的脆弱慢慢浮上台面,然而心還很堅強的時候就會加快速度填補我的信心那一面牆.然後,這時候我的思緒廣播電台播送加油打氣的聲音,然後我聆聽自己.在眼眸陽台上,建築工人使出蠻力Hold住我的眼淚,一切回歸最平常的自己.思緒廣播電台告訴我,我哭,我就是LOSER!

然而,這種搶救自己的堅強與信心法並不管用.當絆腳石以更強烈的手段去詆毀我另一道牆名叫自尊心的時候,所有庇護我的信心的毅力開始慢慢蒸發,接下來就是眼淚如瀑布地湧下來,滴在我心上,侵蝕我的堅強.

我機械式地處理我手上的責任,一面想著我要如何交代他們的尷尬,我要如何安撫他們一切萬事
OK,我要如何面對我赤裸裸的尊嚴,我要如何處理我的情緒以使場面不會那麼僵,所有的責任所有的差錯我必須親自負責.侮辱一切來得太多,太快,沒人同情,也有有人撒鹽在我傷口上,我很難去控制我自己情緒那方面及場面完美.我的思緒廣播電台又再次播送惟有堅強,她的廢話當耳邊風,我必須考量的是外面的4位無辜者.

侮辱的聽得太多,聽得太深會讓我精神崩潰,會讓我有點失去理智.不止是單單口頭上的侮辱,也夾帶著貶損我的人格,尊嚴,面子及在深入一點的是他們.我聽得明白,我聽得懂他要的是甚麼,我聽得懂他的目的,話越是聽得明白,聽得越清楚,我的心揪得越萎縮,酸度成分不斷增長.她可以不是我的誰,但我不能否認她曾是我生命中最重要的人.直到我不能支持下去的時候,我蹲在大地哽咽,我躲在暗處抽噎,我在水滴中哭泣,我很難過.

結果總是能讓人出乎意料之外,所有的想法竟不在我之前的想法範圍中.一切所發生的就像一部電影,看完了拍拍屁股走人就罷,就連劇情不會在夜宵談上任何一句話,除非我開口.此時,我不知道要如何開啟我不在乎的那扇門.

我不知悉他們在想甚麼,或許他們幸運地看到一部超級有人生價值的免費電影,也或許是個2009年最搞笑的電影,也或許會是他們以後的假設笑話.真的是我想太多,我以為拿那話題出來攀談至少可以讓我對於此事情莫名地發生慚愧也好,讓我飆一飆所剩無幾的淚滴也好,讓我發牢騷傾訴也好,讓我偶爾有個聽者也好,讓我有扑向太陽還是靠岸也好.結果到最後竟是殘留我多餘的想法空間,空蕩蕩,只有我站在中心,心中的漣漪蕩然.

全是是我想太多,我不該奢望.我好像聽見有人告訴我,自己的事就該有自己來承擔.





Gee Gee Gee Baby Baby!

石美娟, 來了來了! 我又要開始哈韓了, XDXD 前陣子還蠻瘋狂聽 Girl Generation的其中一首歌, GEE!
其實他們的MV里的舞蹈比較偏向俏皮小性感的舞風, 而且舞蹈技巧難度並沒有很高, 但是唯獨他們的樣貌和造型都是相當的吸引人.若再仔細看, 他們的褲子顏色跟他們的舞蹈走位是有著密切的關係, 因為顏色的搭配都很整齊卻不失色彩感, 值得回眸. : ) GEE 這首歌有兩個MV版本, 一個是Original 版本而另外一個是Dance Version. 好看好看! 韓國人的娛樂圈果然不是蓋的!











: ) DONE IT !


Haha, i have finished edited my blogskin, nevertheless I have only changed the blogskin instead of changing the whole template, cause i find that it is difficult to modify those codes. So luckily
Moii PeiSii has recommended me thecutesblogontheblock which can choose different varies of blogskins from there and I was just grab one of the blogkin's codes and paste it on the gadget of layout.X) Then, I searched Google for photo editors since my computer has not install photoshop, so I managed to edit it online, and I've found a website that provided several of tools for editing photos, and it is ,www.fotoflexer.com besides I don't think that it is complicated to learn for beginners.

I used almost one hour for editing my banner* Haha, but i think it is valuable for spending 1hour to have such a artistic banner for adorning my blog : ) Besides, this blog really took my few days and it has squeezed all my cerebrospinal fluid because before this I wanted to change the whole blog including the templates, and it is not easy to find my cup of tea of templates. Furthermore, those codes will always make me goes mad, and my eyes will feel dizzy when watching those codes for the whole day. And frankly, I don't really like blogspot's templates because i think that it is too drab and out of creativity elements, a bit lameeee.

However, I still can't find my fancy template. : ( But at least I have PINKY LEOPARD MARK and my ANIMATED BANNER to establish my blog ! *^^*

Pls do change your blogskin if you are got sicked of it!

*And pls click my advertisments if you love my new blogskin!*






13 September 2009

卖FM!

Utterly agree what NAMEWEE has commented about the so-called HITTEST chinese FM in Malaysia, The 卖FM. Watch this video!





11 September 2009

The Revolution

Actually I managed to seal my blog till the end of Trial Exam because I feel like changing my blogskin since everyone is changing their blogskins. Its a embarrassment when I saw other people's blogskins which always artistic, oppositelyI am still using blogspot's templates, what a shame. - . -

I often to calm myself by comforting and persuading myself that people might be the first person who improved or advanced in any sectors and I am the role that walking behind of them.So that is why I ll always determined to be the one who always get over those people who wanted overcome my perseverance. I know I can do it and do better than them, so every success starts from my education, my lifestyle, my owns, my money, my inner-sides, my appearance......

I know I have to change..... : )

So there are several things that I have to do during holidays, such asssssss.........

1) Rebonding again!
2) Change blogskin
3) Maybe a Cut?
4) Study Again for SPM
5) Think of my Future
6) Earn Money, So please click my Advertisment! *^^* KamSaHaMita*
7) ...
8) ....

Everything have to successfully done during holidays. I need a Revolution.


*StayTune*




Baby, Cause I cant sleep through the pain.




08 September 2009

The Click Time!

*Dearrrr Tuan-Tuan dan Puan-Puan*,
Don't be so stingy looo...click my NUFFNANG advertisment!!
X)

I ll click back YOURS don't worry babessssss!


HERE GOES A BIG KISS!







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The price is always negotiable.
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05 September 2009

Im Thinking Of You

我只知道我刚刚很无所事事,一早起来就是忽略妈妈打包的早餐,然后再亲自下厨。煮了一碗鸡蛋加不懂什么海鲜的粥,再来就是一碟青菜然后再配上一小碗妈妈已准备的卤肉,然后喝了一杯热美禄,两大口的冷水及一小罐yakult。这整餐早餐让我整整花2个小时多,因为我在享受着我的考试假期。

时间过得一点都不慢,可是我自己把它慢化了,让自己沉溺在慢度空间。我不想我的毛燥影响我的美丽的星期六,我旷了我早上的数学补习课因为我真的要生病了,昨夜好不容睡了个觉,而今早已没办法再用已累积5天的疲惫奋斗。所以,跟老师请了病假,也帮他顺便请了事假。

接着,吃完早餐后,我解放了我肠子里的压力。:)

我不知道是不是脑勺里的毛躁在作祟,我也不知道是不是我被它影响着了。我帮了厕所洗了一个澡,然后抹干净厨房,收拾床褥,收拾电脑座,把在考试期间用来做数学算草的废纸拿去环保处,再update我手机里的MusicLists,然后开始呆在电脑前,瞥一瞥他人的部落格,也顺便蔑一蔑某人的部落格。

所有的事情变得很干净很整齐,update了自己。毛躁使我离开正常的自己,有点让我脱轨了思考,我停止了分析,停止了洞察,停止了我的心脏跳动,停止了该有的呼吸频率,停止了情绪的起起伏伏,没法子的,就是停止不了对他的思念,那是一种病,张震鸑说的。


接着,我来了部落格。




* 2009.09.04* 的照片

我们的1年10个月,你记得吗?





04 September 2009

哭完无助

刚刚又亲自为自己下厨了,这不是第一次了。

吃完我的应叫夜宵的晚餐,头又痛了起来。
很不舒服,眼睛更是累得不像话,我真的好想睡觉,可是我办不到。

不知道,
有没有一种叫幸福的安眠药?





幸福渐渐模糊

好了,我真的觉得我有必要把所的不屑通通掏出来,要不然,我真的会因心脏负荷不住过于激烈的情绪而突然暴毙而猝死。或许是考试的压力比之前来得大,而自己设的目标当然也比往往高了许多,没人能再给我一些我不能忍受的耻辱上的压力了,而最终最能打败自己的还是自己,所以我无时无刻都在拟造假想敌。不过我曾也强调过,我只拿远远比我厉害的人来与自己做比较,且,也知自自己不能叩下头向人认输,同时也知道我要的是剥夺别人的面子,而不是让别人来摘下我的面子。所以,我好像更不能屈服,我的一切有自己主宰,老天爷一直都在解囊抛机会给我,而我是只蛟龙,是无时无刻地抢购得云雨的机会。或许,有人会认为这是种偏激的想法,或许我会让自己越陷越深,可是,我的人生只有一次,我需要的是好好计划我的人生,然后再狠狠地挥霍一次,就晋晋那么一次。

之所以,压力非小并不是没有理由的。更何况,那些压力正在谋杀我的健康。我知道,且我也甘愿。差不多这整个星期下来,我的睡眠时间平均是3个小时,智者也许会取笑我,这是哪门的学习方法? 可是我知道我自己的学习状况,我要如何学习,我要如何在填鸭式教育性质的考试上得到人人所谓的好成绩我一切都知道,我并没有在我的中学生涯学到任何对我生活上有那点丁儿帮助的资讯,也许你会回答我说: 当然有,科学,化学,生物及物理都应该有具到吧?

正巧,我需要借题发挥。

对于刚刚自问关于有些人认为教育在生活上应该有对咱们的生活上有帮助,我不禁要反他们一搏。看清楚,那些人类给予的答案是存有假设性质。对, 那是假设性的问题,而这些假设性的问题是不存在,既然那些假设性的问题是不存在的,那又何必说出来来安慰自己,错,是欺骗自己在某个程度上的满足感及心灵的空虚。所以,不要我不会相信具有假设性质的事情,因为它真的只不过是暂时性填补你心中的缺陷,效果很不完美。况且,我决不会让自己掉入假设性的圈套。不要说我失去理智,我很清楚自己在做什么,要什么。

至今,我才发现我的身体健康状况似乎开始亮起红灯了,当我考完试过后,我的全身是十分疲惫的,而直到我躺下床的时候,我竟是不能睡个好觉,我好像已失去了睡眠的幸福,我的身体失去了滋润,我的身体彻彻底底地失恋了。我变得不懂得去向睡眠表白我心中对它的渴望,对它的爱意识有多么深誓,再说,我已经完全失去它的方向了。

当然,压力更不只是区区地来自于考试压力及失眠的痛苦,要不然我头上的白发是绝对不白生的,那就是我身上永远都负着一个很重很重很重很重很重很重很重很重很重很重很重很重的担子。其实,我也不是很明白我的使命到底在哪儿,我的责任在何方,我只知道,我好像都得在精神上付出很大的代价,当我要求的是短短几句辞句的时候,而对方乃会用水喉射向你,让你冷透直发抖,吭不出半点声儿。因为,我所得到的反应竟是可让我马上闭嘴,而放弃言论自由权,因为对方事先放弃言论自由权。我只知道,我很怀恨在心。我很讨厌被人欺骗的感觉,我会觉得自己很笨,像个十足我小学似的,被人爬上头来却还不知道原来一只手就可把他拉下来。我在妥协你却不停地让我看到你自私的一面,你就只会维护着你自己要的,想的,拥有的,或是曾经拥有的,然而,到最后,原来能维护我的竟是我的沉默。听乐观废材者说,只要让身边的人快乐你自然也会感到快乐,然而,我很想推翻那个人的生活定律,因为你的快乐并没有感染到我。

其实,仿佛上一分钟,我是想呐喊我心中的小小幸福。可是,那不是我的幸福,而是三水妹与麦提爽的幸福。哈XD,如果有追看《绝代商骄》就知道我在说什么屁了。这可算是我有史以来第一次那么疯狂港剧,自己也觉得在广东语言上增添了一份的知识。说什么都好,我看这部电影是因为黄子华的关系,我不知道别人对于这有一把年纪的男人有什么看法,不过,我倒是很喜欢黄子华。从以前就很憧憬看他的戏剧,直到迄今,我才好不容易放下我一本书,舍得花时间再追看这部港剧了。话真的可说得很夸张,因为我可以从晚上追看这部港剧至隔天早上7点,看着我爸爸冲咖啡上班。X) 可见我也算是他小小的粉丝。不过,若是要我说出喜欢他的什么,我只能说我很喜欢麦提爽的性格,角色及对商业上的知识和技巧。后来我才发现,我对帅哥并没有什么好迷恋,帅哥也只能口禅上说说,眼睛瞥瞥就好,消化不良。然而,真正的男性的魅力是发自内心,而于对我来说,男性就是要靠着丰厚的知识及成熟度来吸引女性,而不是区区用几罐名牌WAX来SET SET头发,言语上却内容空洞而且夹带着幽默极低的笑话来引起女性注意。那些只会用浅薄的技巧的男性,我很鼓励他去KAO那些无知小妹妹,因为他们最喜欢这些比较属于软性的动物。现在的女性可不是像当年的女性了,若男性真的有KAO LUI本事,那就请男性们看多点有建设性的节目,了解社会动态,了解世界政治再来跟女性攀谈,否则现今的女性话题肯定让你咋舌!

好啦,我真的没有在偏袒黄子华,因为我真的会一面看那部港剧一面尖叫不已。刚刚的我,正看完第17集而也在后头看了第十八集的预告,他们终于开始约会了! 而且麦提爽终于让三水妹知道他的心意了! 哇,我简直要疯了! 看到他们幸福的样子,其实自己也觉得很幸福:) 虽然只是一部港剧,但我好已经感觉到他们俩在演习时要互相表达的爱意了! 妈的,那时候的我真得很想呐喊,可是我不知道要找谁呐喊我心中的雀跃! 这样说起来,其实很难过。

无论现在的我是如何,说真的,看《绝代商骄》真的又让我身心轻松了许多,也去走些不愉快。

不过说实话,我想要幸福。





That's Truth

I Hate You So Much.




03 September 2009

空气中出现你的味道

说真的,我没有在吃醋,我也并没有在妒忌,我什么都没有,惟有难过。

对于这种事情,通常我的ReflexAction 会是前者的心情及反应。或许是时常发生这种芝麻绿豆,我开始开导我自己要想成熟,要坚强,不要立刻摆出我第一个反应,三思而后行。结果,很糟糕的是,我办到了。

是,的确办到了,对于你的解释我很厌倦,我根本不想再去猜戳你的心态,我跟我自己说,随你所欲。我要做的,我都做了,我要表达的,早就在秦汉朝代表达无数次了。我知悉你或许不能接受,或许你不喜欢,不过我要再次强调,不要等到我什么都放弃及对你所爱但我却不爱都宽容的时才来对我坦白。那时候的我,会想拿一把刀狠狠地涌向你胸膛,就像是你的所作所为也让我的心脏被涌着,伤愈还没痊愈,可是那是一波又一波的痛在我心坎。

说真的,我很难过。





至曾相识的陌生人

至曾相识的陌生人(他的表哥):

听到他的哭声以后,他似乎很卖力地告诉我他有一位亲戚去世了。经过漫长的解释您的长相以后,我记忆中的你好像没那么模糊了。感觉是曾相识,见面次数也可五指可数得清,聊天的内容更是少得没话说。通常,我们只会在您与他的家庭聚会才能相见,可惜的是我从来没跟你说过任何一句话,那是我时常在黄家犯的惯犯。对您的印象也只不过是时常看到满脸通红的您,想必您也对酒精也特有一番独爱。且,在我印象中,你就是聚会中的焦点,不管是大人小孩,没有一个你是聊不上话的人,可称得上人缘绝佳。

直至前天听到您去世的消息,我除了也替黄家失去一名对老幼都非常熟悉的亲戚也感到很惋惜及心痛。对于您母亲与父亲的遭遇,我更是爱莫能助。从他的口中,我听到您在世的时候是个非常有潜力的商业人,手中握着不少的股份及生意。一切发生得太快了,就在那么一瞬间,社会上就失去了一位为社会为经济卖力的壮士,我也只能抱着出师未捷身先死,长使英雄泪满襟的心态。

此外,听说您生前固执,但却是个非常孝顺的儿子。对于家事繁琐事务一切亲自打理,在家也握着相当大的权力,主宰家里,一切事务抱在您身上绝不是个问题。

可惜,老天爷卖弄人才,好人永远都是薄命。对于您的消息,我同感深受,我与他也很心痛。不过,我只希望您能Rest In Peace及在天保佑您的双亲。阿弥陀佛。


黄梽伦现任女朋友,周佳菊上